Monday, December 26, 2011

Your Wedding Gift (To Kal and Octa)

Alright it's a little early and my poem is hardly an acceptable gift but I might not be able to make it to your wedding or something crappy might come up so I'm going to give it in advance (But be assured if I can't make it I'll compensate, I promise) I hope you both like it and I wish you guys the best!

It’s your wedding day
The happiest moment of your life
I’ll set up the world’s most stunning colours
Just for your special day.
I pray that you’ll be happy (Even though I know you will);
Forever with your love
I pray that you get everything
That you could ever ask for

My gift’s too small
In comparison, to the joy you’ll feel
But I hope you’ll receive it anyways
With a little smile

Both a happy ending
And a beautiful new beginning,
I trust you to your lover
Who’ll stand by you, till the very end.
Your friend’s are ever so happy
Know they love you unconditionally
They’ll always stand by you
Because they care for you most.

If I could, I’d take down the stars
In hopes that they’d adorn your wedding gown
If I could, I’d erase all the hurt
That you’d felt in your past.
When you’ll walk into that chapel
Holding your lover close
If I’m not there to see you two
I’ll be wishing you the best

I’ll fill the chapel with birdsong,
I’ll lay out all the colours of the world,
I’ll be standing there, in a corner
Smiling, holding up a toast to you.

I hope that these words
Can convey my message
My happiness for your joy
I wish you both the very best,
The very best of life.
Like a flower of love that blossomed,
In both your hearts
I’ll grow a thousand more for you both
And make sure none wither away
In your hearts.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

My Best Friend- My Mother

I am happy, very happy
I am going to school, my very first day
I am four, I am excited
I stand in front of my school gate
There are lots of children, dozens and dozens
They all seem happy, I feel the same
I am inside the school gates
The gates are closing, I begin to realize
I am losing my best friend
My mother is leaving me, for the very first time
I am crying, my tears flow like a river
My four years of childhood are breaking down
How can I leave my mother?
Even for only three hours
That’s the first time I realized how it felt
To lose my best friend, my mother
Today I am excited, I am now 13,
I am leaving my school, all my best friends
I hope they all come with me
Follow me into my new high school
Is it pain?
Is it agony?
And is it disappointment in my best friend’s eyes?
That she is no more my only best friend
The fact that she’s now just my mother?
I lean more on my other best friends
I now have more than 10
All of them are my very best friends
I believe they’ll do anything for me
They’ll give their life just to save mine
They’ll be there for me forever
My mother cooks food
She waits for me to come for lunch
One that turns to dinner and soon breakfast
She wants to wait for me
To come home and eat with her
Like I used to a year before
She stays home hungry, agonized for me
She wants to have food with me, she waits
I don’t care about my old best friend
I am rich; I have more than a hundred new ones
Why should I care for the old one?
My mother she waits
She tries to make me understand
She is the only one who’ll be by my side
I am now seventeen
I know my mother is not the only one
I am rich; I have many friends
My closest best friend is a prince
I cherish him out of millions
He is the best in everything
In looks, caring, sharing and everything else
I share everything, my body, my soul
My pain, my gain, my future
My prosper, all of me
My old best friend is just there still
Now I am 25
Now I know old isn’t gold
Now I know I was wrong
Mother comes by default, not by choice
My life is rich, it’s by choice
I am rich, I have a prince
I have friends by the hundreds
I don’t care
To go see my mother
While she sits in the corner of the room alone
I don’t care, my beautiful mother
Suddenly looks fifty years older than her age
She’s lost her edge, she’s lost her looks
She’s lost her confidence in overall
I don’t care even if I think
The confidence she lost was in me
I don’t think negative, she is old
She should look old
I dwell in the positive
I am rich; I have hundreds of friends
My prince is now my husband
I don’t care about my old best friend
She’s just somebody there by default
I am now 35, I am full
I don’t have time to even call my mother
My old best friend, once in a while, just once
I am so busy, my husband, my job, my children, my dog
My house, my cat, my parties so many
My fashion, my list of ever-growing best friends
It’s all about me
It’s not about anything old
It’s not that old is gold
It’s no more about my old best friend
It’s no more about my mother, she died
In her sleep, alone, no one around
I couldn’t go to her
I had to see, my daughter’s first day at school
My daughter is now four
Its wedding day, I am alone
It’s the day the accident took place
It’s the day my house is full of people
It’s the day that my house, so filled with people
I cannot find even one friend
Let alone my best friend,
My son died today
It was a freak accident
It happened while he was coming from school
My prince, my ex-husband is too busy
It’s his wedding day today
My hundreds of best friends
They’re all too busy
They all have something to do
Some are gone, having their kitty parties
Some are having their pet shows
Some have their date nights
None having time for me
I’m all alone I realize
I now have enough experience
I am now old enough
Staying alone in my house
Day after lonesome day
Month after month
All night long
I’m waiting and waiting
For a little phone call
The ring of the doorbell
It doesn’t come
Only the continuous ringing in my head
Reminding me I’m seventy, I’m old
It’s my own dialogue
‘Old is not gold’
Now everybody knows my number
My house number, my cell number
It’s there in all of my best friends call bared lists
Years gone by to make me realize
You are old and old isn’t gold
I don’t know why I live
This is probably my punishment
My old friend wanted me to realize-
Mother’s never age
Mother’s are the only ones who come by default
I am now ninety
I realize only one thing
In all my life
I only got one friend
She wasn’t my best friend
She was my soul friend who stayed with me always
Since the day I was born
Till now she’s there in my heart
My only  friend, my Best Friend - My mother

Monday, October 10, 2011


I’m writing this for you
Try and listen to me
I’m writing to please you
Don’t you see?
I might want you to spoil me
Get all my emotions straight
But trust me when I say
There’s quite a lot of hate
The words I say
Might not always be pretty
But trust me they’re all just true
Down to the littlest hello
Or painful remark
I’m just trying to please you
Why can’t you get that simple thing right?
My tiniest little feeling
Don’t just say it’s pretty
And leave me
Trying to get you’re repeat
Say those words again
Please just one more time
But try and understand
My reason why
Before you make me cry
I won’t hate you for not getting it down perfect
Trust me I won’t
Just try and get a little bit
And that’ll give me all my joy
My tears, don’t look at them
Don’t pay the slightest bit of attention
Just look at my face
When I speak
And try to figure me out
I’ll be the happiest
And you won’t have a doubt
You’ll see me for what I am
Without another cloud
A mist that I usually use
To try and block you out
But believe me when I tell you this
You’ll easily find your way out
All I have to say this time
Is just try and pay attention
I’m not always smiling
Haven’t quiet put the cherry on top
I’m just a lost little girl
Trying not to get all that lost

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Fade Away

When I'm in pain and I can't cry
Tears won't drip instead I'll sigh
Take a knife and carve it out
Plunge it in and pull it out
Feel the pain that makes it better
Feel the warm, Silken Leather
Feel the blood trickle down
Feel it drip, drip to the ground
Listen to the wind rustle below
Walk slowly, Take a flow
Let it go away
Fade, fade far away
Tears and pain let them go
Take me in and let me go
When the night will fade
And dawn comes again
Kiss me softly
And leave me sweet
I'll fade, I'll vanish
Like a quiet summer dream

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Treasure Chest

There's a treasure chest
Deep down in my heart
There's a secret locked away
Deep down in my heart
Sometimes I let it slip
Darkness seeping out
Like it's too much to keep
It's blinding my lights out
Quick and quiet
It strikes my soul
Penetrating all my hopes
Piercing it's way
Out my mouth
Into cruel, toxic words
The dark side that I try to hide
The thing that I hate most
It's slipping, It's slipping
And I'm oh so very close
Close enough to feel it happening
Close enough to know
That it's slowly killing me
Like a dark black cloud raining snow
It clouds my very vision
Of what should be seen as right
It suffocates my lungs
When I try and keep it out
Silken and sweet
It'll seduce me into doing wrong
It'll steal away my conscience
And make me feel all torn
Even though I know it hurts
What else can I do?
I have to pour my heart all out
Or suffer as I do
Trusting is hard
I know that very well
I try and block out people
Keep walls in their way
I am close but not
I fled so quickly and soon
It's eerie to know
That it might repeat itself
Again I'll run away
Like the coward I try not to be
Again I'll put up walls
And barriers to protect me
From what I keep forgetting
But My heart is gripped with ice
Like it's too scared
To know what's wrong or right
My brain stops in it's tracks
When I speak sometimes
My words I can't remember
But I think most were lies
Writing helps me most
But never helps the feeling go
It's always there
In a treasure chest
Deep inside my soul

Sunday, September 18, 2011

My parents

I look at them with adoration
As any child would
I look at them for comfort
As any child would
But all I got was cold harsh stares
Icy and unforgiving
And my teardrops froze right there
In the moment I knew
They always wanted something more
Something I never had
Like just a little more smartness
Or just a little more talent
Or something I never even knew about
Something close like that
Whenever I drew them pretty pictures
They would only point out flaws
Like all they ever cared about
Was whatever I did wrong
And once I stood to talk to them
Whilst they were watching news
And they just said 'I'm too busy'
And left me as I stood
'Am I not good enough' I began to think
Everything was wrong with me
Down to the way I blinked
My thoughts were always dark and immaculate
And I began to dwell in them
Always faking happy smiles
Like the good little girl I played
I continued my charade
For my parents beloved
Then as I grew
I came to know
Was it love or my simplicity
That drove me to such lengths?
Then the answer was all so clear
Love was never there
My parents that I strode to please
Never gave a care
But now that I know
And keep to myself
All they show is love
Was it all a game,
Some sick disgusting thing?
Or was it all just so true that they always did love me?
Questions arose in my head
Sharp and oh so deadly
Then sudden tears sprung
Because I'd always longed
for love and care and a little attention
From my parents fair
But still here I stand
Unable to breathe a word
For I fear that it will end
The love from my parents dear


Promise me you'll never leave me
And hold me tightly forever
Promise me sweetly your love won't fade
And we'll see starry nights each day
Promise me you'll come again
Don't vanish like a dream
Promise me you'll wipe away
My tears if they should fall
All these promises made
But barely even kept
Never came again
To say hello
Today, tomorrow or years later
You won't show your face
Lies and lies you used to say
And like a fool I fell
Never will I trust again
Your promises, lies and foolishness
Because finally I have found
A way out of your sick misery